I am accountable. I accountable for my own health and every decision I’ve ever made. The decision to play hockey, the decision to be a fighter and my decision to at times live recklessly.
I signed up for it. No one ever put a gun to my head and made me play the game nor fight an opponent. I made that choice.
My hockey career is insignificant in the eyes of the hockey world and I’ve made peace with that. I lived my childhood dream. I got what I needed out of the game and so much more. I am grateful. I am grateful for every game, every shift, every fight and every punch I took as a hockey player. It helped me see the bigger picture of life. What I’ve learned from the game is far greater than any trophy or statistic. To be 100% accountable for my choices in life, my own personal wellbeing and to follow my heart to address the hole I found myself in. I was forced to make a change. My struggles and experiences have helped me navigate my way through darkness to find optimum wellness and even more importantly, myself.
Zero Stanley cups, 1 NHL goal, a bunch of fights, lots of parties and an inflated ego, I was seeking happiness, fame and fulfillment outside of myself. The partying was getting old and I accepted I was dealing with substance abuse.
I eventually realized what’s really important when it comes to emotional and spiritual wellness.
10 years ago I bowed out of the game with honor. I was 28 years old. I had one more year of my one-way contract left with the Philadelphia Flyers and a coaching position opened up on the Flyers minor league team. I was presented with the opportunity and I immediately saw and exit strategy. Not as an opportunity to make a long career in coaching hockey, but an opportunity to embark on this quest of healing, holism and finding myself. I chose to follow my gut because of my previous relationship with both cannabis and psilocybin mushrooms without any true understanding of their therapeutic and medicinal properties. I chose to work on myself with the help of nutrition, yoga, plants and fungi rather than traditional substance abuse programs. It was a risk no doubt, but a risk I am glad I took because it opened me up to a world of healing, meaning, wellness and human optimization. Most importantly the use psilocybin reminded me of the importance of self-love, self-care and self-discipline. Vital for optimum mental, emotional and spiritual wellness. My path eventually led me to my experience in Jamaica with Wake Clinics. An amazing psilocybin and sound clinical immersion. All in an extremely safe container, with the guidance of true healers and some awesome people. The Individual and collective healing experience made me realize I am fit to serve and help more people in a completely different way. A powerful yet mystical way. I needed to step my up my game. Psilocybin mushrooms have a tremendous ability to change the mental health game and the brain injury game. These clinical immersions are the future of mental wellness. It just takes a little courage to step outside the box and trust in mother nature’s beautiful gifts she has blessed us with.